Quarter Life Crisis

Recently, i’ve been experiencing panic, worry, boredom and loneliness attacks…

there will be a day, an hour or a minute of depression… but thank God that His words and promises is already planted in my heart that it never last that long... i never feel the emptiness that long because God has a way of fulfilling that emptiness in my heart and restoring joy & strength in me! but honestly, there are really dreadful days, hours in my life… i feel insecure, sad, unfulfilled…

yesterday i realized that i feel this way because i don’t feel grateful with what i have, who i am & where i am at this point of time! this is because i soooo like to  be in a relationship right now, get married and have my own family! i envied my friends and ladies i saw at the mall with their husband while playing & shopping with their kids… i envied my friends whose married and have kids! sometimes i think, what if i’m married and have kids na, will i be happier? will i be more satisfied?

i know that i should not feel this way! this is the kind of life that i pray and always want to have! i dream to be successful in my career… buy my own stuff, travel around & discover new places, drive my own car and eat whenever i like to! but though God has blessed me with all these, i’m still not happy! —- yeah, im contented with my lifestyle, but im bored being single… i wanna experience something new…. and i think being in a relationship and getting married is the answer! —- super wanting things & relationships that i dont have right now steal the opportunity for me to enjoy the things & relationships that i have right now! my growing relationship with God, nanay & jell, my bff – mami myrns, my friends, my relatives, my colleagues, my job, my car, my clothes & bags, free time, freedom and unlimited opportunities…

i should stop the “hunt” mindset, wanting to be in a relationship… i should continue enjoying my relationship with God and seeking His will, i should continue enjoying fruitful relationships! i should start to get a life, enjoy season of singleness, discover new things and wonderful opportunities that lies ahead of me! i believe that my God will bring me into a season of having my own family — in His time! For now, i will embrace this season… and the purpose why i am here…. hugs…hugs… hugs…

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