On our first two months as a couple, Mark and I has awesome and sometimes unpleasant days. Since we were both adjusting living life together, no matter how much we try to be optimistic, we ended up the day physically tired and weary. My forgetfulness worsened while my husband were easily irritated by little things. At the end of the year, we both realized that there’s something wrong, we admitted that we cannot do this on our own, we pray for wisdom and we realized that we need some time management at home. With a little planning, full commitment and by God’s grace we slowly overcome as new year begun (2016).
Here are some questions we asked each other that helped us to plan our day.
Plan you weekdays. Mark & I are both full-time employee, we work Mon-Fri for 8 hours + 2-3 hours travel time, so that’s 11 hours at work. 6-7 hours of sleep, then we only have 6-7 hours left for ourselves. So you really have to make the most of your workday. Here are some questions we asked and we agreed.
In the morning, before going to work…
- What time will we set the alarm?
- What time do we really wake-up?
- Who will prepare our breakfast?
- Who will take a shower first?
- Who will prepare our baon (packed-lunch)?
- While we’re at work, what is the best time for us to talk? Can I call anytime? Or call is limited during office breaks?
In the evening,
- Will we eat out or have dinner at home? If at home, what will you have for dinner? Who will cook?
- Who will wash the dishes?
- How will we spend your night? Talk about your day, Watch TV, couple’s devotion, personal quiet time, exercise, clean the house, cook food for tomorrow?
- What time we go to bed?
Plan your weekends. Weekend means Sabbath, and Sabbath means rest. God commands us to rest, in Exodus 35:2 “For six days work may be done, but on the seventh day you shall have a holy day, a sabbath of complete rest to the LORD; whoever does any work on it shall be put to death.” We supposed to rest during weekends, but the fact is, we have tons of things to do, household chore, errands, family & friends affair, medical check-up, etc. So again, we need to plan. And we asked below questions:
- Who will be responsible for household chores? Should we get a helper?
- Who will do the grocery?
- What time are we going to church service?
- How often we commit to family & friends affairs?
- Shall we prioritize other activities such as medical check-ups, exercise, etc?
- Will we go on a date? How often?
Being married is not about who will do what. If you love your spouse, serving him/her comes naturally, to serve and be served is not an issue. For Mark & I, If we can do things together, then we do it together! But if not, either of us stepped up and joyfully serve. Mark cooks complicated dishes for me and I cooked easy recipes for him too! Whoever has enough time will wash the dishes, fold our clothes, clean the house, and the list goes on. In marriage, you are partners, you have to be there for each other, yes even on ordinary days!