Night of December 1, 2016, my husband and I started another Christmas tradition – the “Advent Wreath.” Thank God for our church pastors & their families, who shared the importance of having family Christmas traditions. For reminding us to focus on … Continue reading
It’s prayer and fasting week again tomorrow and I’m really excited to join Victory to corporately fast as a church. I admit it, fasting is not my favorite spiritual discipline, I only do this when there’s a corporate prayer and fasting … Continue reading
It’s been two weeks since I suffered from anarectal disorder, after undergoing colonoscopy at Westlake Medical Center in San Pedro, Laguna. Doctor Winkle Panjuelos, has three diagnosis: (1) Hemorrhoids: Hemorrhoids are swollen rectal veins in the anal and rectal area. … Continue reading
Excerpts from Sarah Jakes blog: I Turned My Back On You
I was concentrating so hard on trying to have an “ideal” life that I was obsessed with pulling everything around me together, trying to make things whole.
I was too tired to keep fighting though so I just let the pain sweep over me…
I learned that faith wasn’t about holding everything together or living the life you “should”, it was about recognizing you’re in too deep and trusting the Lifeguard is coming to get you. I gave in prepared to let life win but God who knows and sees all was already in the water, prepared to come get me.
The more I fought, the harder I made His job…When you know you’re in over your head you have to trust that God is with you always, even when you don’t see him…Even when you think you’ve gone too far…. You are simply an arm’s length away from His grace.
I believe today, God speaks to me through this blog from Sarah Jakes. I’m browsing the web for blogs that I can read, and my search leads me to her SarahJakes Blog. Since mid of last year, I cannot understand why God is allowing uncontrollable situations in my life. There’s anxiety, depression, job lost, sickness, self-pity, broken relationships and vanished friendship. And then, I cried, found myself lost, broken… In tough times like this, I prayed and told God, “Lord, I cannot do this anymore… I don’t want this, but nothing I can do to prevent this. I surrender everything to you. I surrender my heart, my career, my body, my mind, my family and friends. I’m sorry Lord that my desire to put all things together perfectly leads me to trusting myself, believing that I can control and make my imagination of the “ideal” happens and offer this to honor you, so that you will be pleased with my life. I’m sorry Lord for I am impatient; I can’t wait for You, I do things my way not Yours, as if I know better than You. And I am shattered. Lord, I’m so tired of doing and fighting, because no matter how I tried to create a balance life, to excel at my work, to live healthy, to be a good daughter sister and friend, no matter how I tried, it just don’t work, I’m still defeated. I’m crushed, I’m exhausted… So I GIVE IN, and invite You to COME, do it for me and fight for me. I admit it, I’m not strong enough, not independent enough, I am limited… I repent, I surrender every areas of my life to You, be the Lord of my life. FIGHT for me God, for Your Word says, “Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours but God’s.” (2 Chronicles 20:15).
Today, I thank God for delivering me from hysteroscopic D&C procedure done to remove 5 endometrial polyps found in my uterus lining. Our God is our Great Healer. I didn’t felt any pain, except from needles from IV & skin test. Inside the operating room, my last memory is the voice of my OB Gyne, Dra. Cecilia Reyes, introducing my Anaesthesiologist, another doctor who would assist her and telling me that I’ll be fine. Then, I fall asleep, woke up after 2 hours, and yey, it’s done! I don’t even feel any pain, right after until tonight.
This season in my life, allows me to experience more of God’s grace, it’s about trusting God with the unknown. It’s my first time to suffer with this type of illness that I need to undergo general anaesthesia and be confined in the hospital for 2 days. I’m so afraid, scared… In my prayer, I trust Jesus alone, that by His strifes I’ve been healed already. I believed that Jesus is with me, He will never leave me nor forsake me. I believe in His promise “The Lord is my shepherd. I shall lack nothing. He restores my strength. He leads me down the right paths for the sake of His reputation.” I am singing “Desert Song” and worshipping God before and after the procedure.
I am loved
I realized that when you’re sick, you expect your family and friends to be ther for you during this low season of your life. I expect a visit, a call or even just text from them assuring that you’re okay. Thank God for few family memebers and friends who spends few hours (and even days) with me after the procedure. I thank God for Mommy and my sister Jell, who take care of me in the hospital, Nanay, Yaya and Temple, my friends Iris, Carol & Ric also visited me. I also thank God for those who prayed for me. I realized how much “time” matters. This can be the most valuable gift we can give to our loved ones whose sick or troubled. Believe me, it matters a LOT! I really felt loved & valued by these few people. (tears of joy)
I’m not alone
I’m also grateful that Jesus is the one who always stays with us and never leaves us alone. I really felt His love and faithfulness to me during this time. I can never ask for more. Jesus, has been enough for me to be strong, face and won this battle! Though I admit, I needed support & love from family and friends. I cannot expect them to be there for me all the time, but God?! God is with me. So I focus on Him, and I felt how blessed I am. My Father is with me, He knows what I’m going through and He is in full control.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. 2014 just kick-off, and I’m expecting more extraordinary days from my extraordinary God! Focus on Jesus. Jesus Loves Me. My Father, my Shepherd, my Lord.
I’ve wasted seven years being in a wrong relationship. I disobeyed, dishonored YOU oh Lord that long.
My heart, my being, pursue this man… A man who evetually hurt me, and left me broken and alone in the dark.
In the darkness…
I saw a light coming ahead of me. That light is YOU. YOU picked up the broken pieces of me. And made me whole again. When you restored me, I respond in submission. “Lord, I submit my life to you.” While uttering this prayer, I’m also believing your wonderful plans for me. My Father, YOU know what’s best for me!
Into the new season…
My feet wandered around places. You revealed new things, so that I can learn new skills, expand my knowledge, build new friendships, experience life adventures, be a blessing to my family, friends and even people I do not know, received blessings and breakthroughs and get to know YOU personally. Only YOU can do that! I am captivated by YOUR love oh Lord. I trust YOU alone.
A wounded heart…
After all these wonderful experiences, your princess remains to be a princess. That desire to be a queen & be captivated by her knight still remains. Though YOUR princess, has been open, she remained guarded and wise. She seeks YOU first, she includes YOU in her dating life because the princess will only choose a relationship that will honor YOU.
Here I am, my Father, my King. Your princess, whom YOU loved with Your EVERLASTING LOVE. A tired princes… I thought I was strong, independent, but I realized I’m not. Last year, I realized I’m so tired, I cannot do this alone anymore… I neeed YOUR STRENGTH. I need someone to defend me and that’s YOU! For the past 6 years, I am struggling… Because part of me was not yet completely surrendered to YOU. But this 2014, I lifted up to YOU, my whole being. I will wait on YOU.
I will no longer….
…..push for what I want
…..I will no longer do things things my way but YOUR way
…..I will no longer face giants with my own strength, but with YOUR STRENGTH, you will fight for me!
I will seek your face Oh Lord, I will never stop calling YOU, I believe in your promise, YOU will answer and reveal to me great and amazing things.
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. – Jeremiah 33:3
Like most of the middle income employees in their mid to late 20’s I’ve been one of the victim of credit card debt too. Spending on things that I don’t need, using money that I don’t have. I’m a typcial woman who splurges … Continue reading
…in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight… Proverbs 3:6 God calls us to submit even in the area of relationships. Submission is not easy but we can always rely on God’s grace as … Continue reading
It’s been a while since my last blog, and i was pretty surprise that there are still readers though… And I want to share what I’ve learned this past few months… Almost everyday, I’m tempted to take things on my own hands because I thought God won’t handle it the way I want Him too, He will not make it happen now. I feel like I know better than God. But after reading this inspiring blog from singlewoman.net, I chose to trust God and his perfect timing. Again, He has to break my own plans and timelines to make His plans for me happen!
Here are some quotes from the author, that strikes me!
“When you let go, something magical happens, you give God room to work.”
“When you stop trying to make things on happen on your timetable, you invite God’s perfect timing to show up and work miracles.”
“You have to stop your own endless efforts, attempts and manipulations to control every situation.”
“If some things you endlessly ask God for came to you right at this moment, you wouldn’t be ready for them. You wouldn’t be able to handle them. You would actually drown in the very favor that you’re asking for.”
Everday, devote more time in worship, prayer, reading the Bible, meditate on His Word, disciple and be discipled. Faith comes from hearing and hearing the Word of God. We need faith during waiting seasons, and only Gods grace can sustain us to wait until He reveals to us His glorious plans.
In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. Psalm 5:3
I’m surprised how God speaks to me during breaking the fast last January 11, 2013. I attended 3 out of 5 prayer meeting & worship night alone this time. I don’t know why but God knows I’m not that comfortable being alone, but during this times that I heard so much from God. It’s an intimate moment with God.
January 11, Friday, breaking the fast… I choose to go at 6:45 PM at the center, I do that intentionally because I’m alone! When i entered the center, there’s a lot of people on fire for worship, there’s no more sit in my favorite area (middle, right in front of the stage), so I was forced to sit in the area the I least like (left side corner) where I barely see Pastor speaking and worship team singing and praising (thought bubbles).
There I met a new friend Rio. As the worship countdown begins, everyone is shouting, praising, clapping, dancing and singing, and I just did the same. There’s an overflowing joy in my heart, not because finally I can eat tonight, but because I know that night will be one of the best night of worship. And I pray “Jesus, I want to praise you and honor you and I want to hear from you.”
As I worship, I felt that God is telling me in my heart and mind that “Joy, this year I will get you out of your comfort zone. Though I know you don’t like this, you’ll still obey and follow Me. Because out of your comfort zone, you will experience greater joy, favor, blessings and breakthroughs! Out of your comfort zone My Name will be honored and glorified! You will experience real joy, peace and confidence out of your comfort zone because you will trust me more. You will no longer depend on your own strengths and abilities, but rather depend on the power of the Holy Spirit who is at work within you NOW. Joy, get ready for a roller coaster ride, exciting BIGGER, GREATER 2013.” God promised in Zechariah 6:15 “Those who are far away will come and help to build the temple of the Lord, and you will know that the Lord Almighty has sent me to you. This will happen if you diligently obey the Lord your God.” Though, I don’t want this Lord, I will obey and follow wherever you leads me. Amen!