Would You Be My Mrs. Luna?

Whoah! It’s been a week since I said “Yes” (while I’m tulaley, stuttered, confused what he’s doing, smiling and crying, in awe trying to capture the moment in my iPhone, almost mapa-tumbling, hay in short #AligagaSaSaya)  as Mark popped up this question, “would you … Continue reading

A Personal Battle, A Proud Heart and A Prayer

Have you ever felt depressed at one point of your life? July to August last year (2013), when I felt so depressed, as much as I want to be optimistic and look at beautiful things instead, it doesn’t just work. I know, I’ve always been positive, I am a dreamer, I’m go-getter, I have faith in God, I believe that God has a great plan for my life, He has a purpose for everything, He is in control. I don’t usually allow problems and struggles to affect me for a long time; I just don’t like meditating on problems, so I always lift it up to God immediately in prayer and worship, then I’m okay, I meditate on God’s promises in the Bible, and I’m fine. God usually restores me and bring me back to life the same day or week. But this time it’s different, it lingers, it actually took months… The depression started with unmet expectations from God, from a prayer that was answered the way I don’t expect it to be. I cannot understand God, I expect a “yes”, but His answer is not a clear “wait” or “no” in short God answer is the opposite. I tried to wrestle with Him, I insisted on what I want, on what I thought is best for me, and felt like I deserved a “yes,” I’m so proud, as if God owes me something because all this time, I think I obeyed Him, waited for Him, so I He must say “yes”, I forgot about the grace of God, I’m so proud.

18002114On being depressed, I woke up with a sad heart, I felt empty. In spite of the emptiness, I continue my daily morning quiet time, pray, read His Word, hoping that this will make me feel better, but no, it doesn’t help, maybe I’m just spending quiet time with God for the sake of doing it, but my heart is really not into hearing God. I continue attending Sunday services, prayer meeting, victory group and worship night, I even fast and pray, hoping that I will encounter God in the presence of other believers. Yeah, I felt His presence when I’m church, but driving home, I feel so alone, hurt, fearful, worried and nervous, feeling so anxious of my future. I feel like God is so distant, I know He is not absent, but He is just so far away from me. During weekends, I feel so weak, I just want to stay in bed, hide under my pillows and sleep. I don’t feel like talking to anyone, even to my family and closest friends. I feel that I’m so tired being there for them, and they can’t help, but the truth is I don’t like to admit to them what I’m actually going through, so I avoid them as much as I could. I don’t know why where all this feeling is coming from, I’m aware of it and I don’t like it. Everyday pray and ask God to remove it, but it stays and it lingers.

As how women handles problems, I decided to get a new haircut and hair color, while pampering my mane, I read this e-book from kindle “7 Most Powerful Prayers That Would Change Your Life Forever” written by Houge Adam. And yes, right in the middle of Salon, God whisper to me… No, no, I think He shout, because He’s been whispering most of the time and I can’t hear what He says… And God shouted so clear…

Stop trying to take the lead, and let me lead you. Wait on me and wait for my Word. I will speak in my own due and proper time. If you obey Me I will justify you. I seek a servant who obeys, not one who walks off while I’m talking and does His own thing. I do love you, and want to justify you. Your works cannot attain Mine, unless you let Me work through you. Only then can you see My power moving and working daily in your life. Only then can you be blessed by Me. Stop trying to bless Me, you can’t bless Me! The greater blesses the lessor. Let me bless you. Only be submissive and let Me lead you daily. – GOD (7 Most Powerful Prayers That Would Change Your Life Forever”  Adam Houge)

And I cried in repentance, in humility I admit that I’m so proud, that I know better than God. That I feel like I know what’s best for me and He don’t. I submitted, I surrendered my life to my King. I admitted that I cannot do anything independent, the truth is, I cannot be an independent princess, without the power, blessing and guidance of the King. I admitted to God, that I am limited, and He is limitless God. So I’m giving Him my life, allowing Him to take the lead. During that moment, I felt like, my Father is smiling at me saying, finally my daughter, you get the point, now I can continue to work amazingly in your life, let me lead you to a more wonderful journey !

 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, – Isaiah 55:8-9

Power of Prayer


Communication is a key to any relationship. It’s the only way to grow relationships. We make effort to communicate because we value our relationships. If we want to be intimate, we must communicate. Communication is two way, we can talk to God in prayer and He can speak to us through His Word. Prayer, we talk to God through prayer. God invites us to come to Him anytime, we can go and approach Him, and He will come through to us. Though God knows everything about us, He still wants us to come to Him. Philippians 4:6-7 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

We can present our request to God, God wants that. But it’s also important to hear from God. We hear from God through His Word, the Bible. God delights in us most when we ask Him for instructions, His plans, His will, and His directions in our lives. Jesus says in Luke 11:9-10 “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” If we continue to seek God, seek His voice, seek His good, pleasing and perfect will, He will reveal it to us. As we seek Him, our desires, dreams, plans and goals will be aligned to His, and the good news is we can trust Him and be secure because our Father knows best, Isaiah 55:8-9 says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” By learning Gods word and promises daily, we get to know God more, trust Him more, as we experience His Word is true and He is faithful to His promises. As we seek God, He will reveal more of himself to us. We get to know Him personally. The Lord says in Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” As we seek our Father’s heart, He will reveal His plans and will for us. God wants us to know His plans for us, He will give instructions and direction so we can get there. As we seek Him first, our dream and heart’s desires will run after us.

Our commitment in prayer and reading the Word is important to grow in our personal relationship with Jesus. Pray for grace that we will have the passion and excitement to hear Gods voice every day, to encounter Jesus. Pray that the Lord will stir our hearts to, know Him more, honor Him more and obey Him. As we make prayer and meditating God’s Word a lifestyle, we will have a more intimate relationship with God. And the natural overflow of our intimate relationship with God is our fruitfulness. There would be significant changes in our lives, our change lives will be a blessing to the people around us.

Daughter of the King


What a privilege to be considered as sons and daughters of the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords. This truth about God as our father, and me as a daughter of the King, has been so true to me when I lost my earthly father. My manager which is also my mentor, encouraged me that since I don’t have father anymore, I can treat God as my Father, I can talk to God, run to Him, and have father-daughter relationship with God like what Tatay and I have when he was still alive. Because we are the King’s sons & daughters, we have an access in His throne anytime. Isn’t God gracious? The truth that “I’m a daughter of the King” gave me confidence in everything I do. The Lord, as our Father welcomes us in His presence, when we begin to pray and meditate on God’s Word we begin to enter into His presence. Since we’re sons and daughters of the King, we are prince and princesses. We can approach the throne of our King anytime, in prayer. Philippians 4:6-7 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

My Shepherd, My Healer

Today, I thank God for delivering me from hysteroscopic D&C  procedure done to remove 5 endometrial polyps found in my uterus lining. Our God is our Great Healer. I didn’t felt any pain, except from needles from IV & skin test. Inside the operating room, my  last memory is the voice of my OB Gyne, Dra. Cecilia Reyes, introducing my Anaesthesiologist, another doctor who would assist her and telling me that I’ll be fine. Then, I fall asleep, woke up after 2 hours, and yey, it’s done! I don’t even feel any pain, right after until tonight.

This season in my life, allows me to experience more of God’s grace, it’s  about trusting God with the unknown. It’s my first time to suffer with this type of illness that I need to undergo general anaesthesia and be confined in the hospital for 2 days. I’m so afraid, scared… In my prayer, I trust Jesus alone, that by His strifes I’ve been healed already. I believed that Jesus is with me, He will never leave me nor forsake me. I believe in His promise “The Lord is my shepherd. I shall lack nothing. He restores my strength. He leads me down the right paths for the sake of His reputation.” I am singing “Desert Song” and worshipping God before and after the procedure.

I am loved

I realized that when you’re sick, you expect your family and friends to be ther for you during this low season of your life. I expect a visit, a call or even just text from them assuring that you’re okay. Thank God for few family memebers and friends who spends few hours (and even days) with me after the procedure. I thank God for Mommy and my sister Jell, who take care of me in the hospital, Nanay, Yaya and Temple, my friends Iris, Carol & Ric also visited me. I also thank God for those who prayed for me. I realized how much “time” matters. This can be the most valuable gift we can give to our loved ones whose sick or troubled. Believe me, it matters a LOT! I really felt loved & valued by these few people. (tears of joy)

I’m not alone

I’m also grateful that Jesus is the one who always stays with us and never leaves us alone. I really felt His love and faithfulness to me during this time. I can never ask for more. Jesus, has been enough for me to be strong, face and won this battle! Though I admit, I needed support & love from family and friends. I cannot expect them to be there for me all the time, but God?! God is with me. So I focus on Him, and I felt how blessed I am. My Father is with me, He knows what I’m going through and He is in full control.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. 2014 just kick-off, and I’m expecting more extraordinary days from my extraordinary God! Focus on Jesus. Jesus Loves Me. My Father, my Shepherd, my Lord.